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21 May 2006 @ 10:54 pm
[Samurai 7] [Katsushirou/Kirara] Spinning on the Edge #21-25  
Fandom: Samurai 7
Title: Spinning on the Edge
Theme(s): [#21-25] 21. Lost Memories (~touching the illusion), 22. Once upon a time... (~you are never here for once), 23. Black Roses (~red funeral), 24. Blush (~no future), 25. To touch the Devil is to die (~dying from bliss)
Pairing/Characters: Katsushirou/Kirara
Rating: K+/whatever
Disclaimer/claimer: S7 belongs to its creators. 21 is post series, and 25 is near the end enough to be spoiler-ish.
Summary: Thirty ways they broke each others' hearts. Thirty ways their romance was fated to be sad. [KatsushirouKirara]

Yay, finals. Last two updates will come slowly. Almost done at last, whoohoo.

Thanks to the awesome beta, and reviews are greatly appreciated. :D Crossposted.

( I'm drowning in your vanity/your laugh is a disease )



Honestly, though, what the heck. The one and only chapter up of Key to Flying has over 340 hits, while the entirety of Spinning only has 560. Four, and now five, chapters. Damnit. I don't know what I'm getting at.

You know, once I've finally made my choice...it's like the world conspires against me to keep myself from, well, making it. Once I said to mom I was considering going, especially since we'd be moving next year anyway to a place that'd be 40-60 mins away from the school each way...yeah, I said I wanted to go (not just for that reason, but you know). And she blew a fuse. And then I thought about science classes here and I definitely wanted to go, and then...we argued again. If my parents want me to stay so much, they should, you know, say it instead.

Whenever I decide "okay, I'm going," I feel...bad. Guilty. Something. And then I go "well, I'll think about it a little bit more." Whenever I decide "okay, why don't I just stay here then!!?", my insides start turning and I start to feel sick. Slightly exaggerated, but true. And I'm stuck again and I was supposed to choose on Friday. Maybe I'll go to school saying I'm going to go, and see what everyone thinks from there. Honestly, I can't do it. I can't.

I feel like everyone hates it when I talk about this. I scare everyone except Patty away from MSN conversations about this topic. I guess this is another sign that I should shut up and sulk to myself quietly while reassuring myself that life sucks, and get over it, you idiot since everyone else has bigger things to deal with so you have no reason to do this? I'm just not strong enough to. Because...I suck.

No way in hell I'll get a short story done by tomorrow, so...I'm good. And done. Done, done, done.
 
 
our hopes and expectations: depressed70 kinds of down and outs
black holes and revelations: Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve (yes, not Spider's Web XD)
 
 
( let's conspire to ignite )
羅殺女rasetsunyo on May 22nd, 2006 04:42 am (UTC)
fuu. well from your previous posts i guess "do what will make you happy" doesn't quite cut it, huh? especially since what "makes you happy" probably includes if the parents are happy about the decision. =/

ah well. do what you'll regret the least? or if you're going to regret it either way, toss a coin and trust in a higher power.

also, i cannot see the fic. been trying since last night. D=
a regular decorated emergency.: Lloyd - daybreakdarkenedsakura on May 22nd, 2006 08:12 am (UTC)
XDDDDDD;; I guess I'm too picky. Well, if I stay I'll regret not taking the chance (depending on how bad the year will be), and if I go and things go badly I'll regret not appreciating what I had. I guess.

I've thrown dice and tossed coins, and they said Cranbrook, then here, then both, so I guess the world's trying to tell me they're the same? O.o And I walked into class today going "okay, I'll say I've chosen and see what happens," and stuff. Argh. People are mostly okay with it (though they feel sad about the newspaper and how there'll be only 2 people in my French class next year without me), but now I'm looking into getting 4 independent studies or something. If I can get 2 of them, well, maybe I'll stay.

Zomg no way. I thought ff.net said the chapter didn't exist last night, but after 5 minutes it appeared for me. And now I just checked and it seems to not exist anymore *kicks ff.net*